Stop Negative Thoughts Exercise

After reading my response to Pete many people have written to ask me to give the directions for the “2 for 1” exercise. So,  I am posting this exercise with more on my response to Pete.

Hello Pete, Remember that you are just beginning to learn new ways of reacting to your emotions.  Learning a new skill takes practice.  Just like when a person learns to play tennis it may feel frustrating at times, when the ball doesn’t go where you want it to.  But, as you practice you get to a point where your can hit the ball where you want it to go, without much conscious thought.   Another example for you to think about when you are learning a new skill is to think about how babies learn.  A baby doesn’t beat him or herself up whe n learning to walk, even when falling down the baby just gets back up again, until finally walking happens.

Other things to think about:

1. I like to say that our emotions are just a way of the mind letting us know that something needs to be worked on.

2. One of the things helpless feelings tells us, is that we need to focus on that feeling to see what is underneath.

3.  Practice acceptance, give that “little boy that lives in you” a mental hug for being honest enough to show his vulnerable side.

4. Recognize that the thought that your “free  will is  eroded”, is perhaps just the way you interpret the feeling . As a matter of fact I am interested in what that feeling of helpless is really about.

5. If you will write me with the exact situation where you feel helpless, or your free will is eroded I will talk about more specific things you can do.

Audrey

Detailed Directions for the  “2 For 1 Exercise”

To  stop stress and anxiety caused by thoughts of events that haven’t even happened yet, use this really powerful   technique.   Yes, it is true that this exercise will take a bit of work in the beginning, but with practice you will find it becomes an automatic habit.

OVERVIEW:
Step 1:  Make a list of any negative thoughts that go through your mind.  Use just one situation or event.

Step 2:  To help yourself to create enhancing thoughts, think about other possible “stories” about what might happen in the future.  Create 2 positive “stories” for each negative “story” you had created.

Step 3: Using the new positive thoughts will help you to  change the habit of negative thinking.

Full Directions for the “2 for 1” exercise:

1. Write down any negative thoughts you have going through your mind, about a situation.  Write down any thought or “story” that causes stress or leads to other uncomfortable emotions.

It is important to write down the thoughts and images.  By putting them down on paper you don’t have to keep going over them in your mind.  In a few moments you will begin to think of other possible outcomes that could also be possible.

2.  After identifying a negative thoughts or stories –  STOP –  and focus on the feelings they produce.  As you become aware of emotions notice where the feeling is “held” in your body.  Make a note of what words or images go with the thoughts or feelings.

3.  Sometimes a negative “story” or thought goes through the mind so quickly, that at first you might not even conscious of it.  Sometimes you will notice the physical reaction before even realizing there was a thought.  So take a moment to search for these thoughts, and the physical reaction to them.   If there is trouble finding the thought, just go back in your mind, to the event causing upset.  Then, go to the moment just before the emotion was felt, and let you unconscious mind bring to the surface any images, sounds or memories.

Being curious is the best state to be in to bring thoughts and images into awareness.  Write down the thoughts, negative “stories” or images that move through your mind.

Negative thoughts can create a vicious cycle as more negative thoughts pop up to support the first one.  This creates unnecessary anguish and stress.  People can create many negative thoughts in just an instant.  By recognizing a thought, it becomes possible to stop, and correct the negative thought process.

4.  When you feel a bodily reaction, such as tightness, pain in the stomach, head, chest, etc. ask yourself: What are you saying in your mind?  Remember there is always a trigger for bodily reactions.

5.  As you become aware of any negative statements answer the following questions
a.  For one day, pay attention to how many negative thoughts you create.
b. How often in a day do you have negative comments flowing through your mind?
c.  Would you talk to your best friend this way?  Would they still be your best friend ?
d. Is there a benefit that comes from speaking to yourself in this negative way?  What do you gain?
e.  What is the negative result of thinking in this way?
f.  If you believe there is a benefit, can this benefit be gained in a different, more self-enhancing way?

6.  Create 2 positive believable possibilities for every negative thought.

7.  Every time a negative thought moves through your mind, replace it with two positive ones.
a.  The positives need to be something that is believable.  For instance, saying “I’ll handle it” is a positive statement that is believable, since we do handle things that come our way.
b.  It will not help to say, “everything is OK” if you do not truly feel this way, for then it is not a believable, positive statement.

8.  Whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, use the power of your own mind in a productive way.  Think of A BIG RED STOP SIGN, and hear the word “STOP,” shouted out in your mind.  Then, say two of the positive thoughts that you have written down to replace each old negative one.

REMINDERS: ‘2 for 1” EXERCISE

a.  Changing negative thoughts to positive ones is done at the conscious level at first. Eventually the habit of changing negative thoughts into positives ones happens automatically, almost without any thought.

b.  The positives need to be believable.

c. It takes time to change any habit.  Just as an athlete practices to be good at his sport, this technique takes practice as well.

d.  Practice this for three weeks, and be amazed at how automatic this positive habit becomes.

e.  Over time the “2 for 1 technique” creates more self-acceptance, calm and confidence.