Keys to Happiness #4 – Tips from The Anxiety Control Center

Post 4: Anxiety Control Center’s answer to finding happiness.

Don’t search for happiness
focus on the positives and happiness will come.

Today we’ll be looking the 4th post in the key’s to happiness series.  It you put these tips to use  you too can gain happiness, no matter what is going on in your life.  Even if you are still suffering from anxiety, or insomnia, or depression these tips can work for you.

Key 1: Is to know that changing our responses to stressors takes some effort.

Key 2: Is to take one tiny step at a time, that’s all it takes.

Key 3: Give yourself credit for what you do.

Key 4: Find small things to give yourself positive feedback about.

Key 5: Find something positive about the choices you’ve made and things you’ve done
.
One of my online coaching clients is the mother of 3 children. ages 4, 6, and 10.   She was feeling depressed, anxious and upset about her inability to make the right decisions.

The first step was to choose one particular situation to focus on.  Some  time when she felt she didn’t make the “right” decision.  She talked about how upset she was with herself for spending an hour playing with her children instead of doing what she wanted to do, relax and read.  She felt like she makes decisions that create more stress.  Since she suffers from panic she was trying to take better care of herself, and playing instead of resting seemed like she wasn’t doing it “right”.

I believe that it was what she was telling herself about her decisions, that was causing the extra stress.  I asked her to find something positive in the decisions she had made. Because she had been beating herself up, she wasn’t able to find a positive.  So I reframed it in the way I was looking at it. I reminded her that even though she was having panic and tension she took care of her children.  As I said that she said you’re righ I can feel proud of myself for doing this.

This is a step in the direction of happiness.  Finding something positive in the decisions and choices you make.  Even though she might have wanted to sit down and rest, being able to find the positive stopped the additional stress she was creating by telling herself she “should have” done it differently.  Talking care of her children’s needs. was a valuable use of her time.    She can tune into the reality that although she wanted to do something else, she made a caring, loving choice.   There was something good about that choice.

Next time she might say to her children I need 15 minutes before I read to you.  That would be a good choice too.  But blaming herself for not resting isn’t going to lead to anything but feeling bad.

Look for Key 6 tomorrow

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